So tonight I am going to a friends joint birthday. One is turning 30 and the other 39. I met these people through my ex. Since the split I stopped spending time with a lot of these people, DMF, because I could only imagine what they thought of me.
I had major social anxiety with DMF for a very long time. I was taking way to many drugs and was with a partner that lead me to believe that they didn’t think that highly of me. After a very long time I finally stopped having social anxiety around them and just in general. I think it was the time I started coming to my senses of what my ex was doing.
So tonight is going to be an interesting night for many reasons. First off I am getting on the gear tonight which I am really looking forward to. It has been 3 months since I have had a big night. I actually can’t wait to have some MD and have a MD puddle with someone at some point. You just end up being in a space of complete bliss until the meth start giving you paranoia.
Secondly I do have the possibility of seeing my ex. The last time I saw him was at a party that DMF put on every year called Samsara. It’s a bush doof that is free. Well I saw him with another friend and waved at him. He kinda looked at me weird and waved back. Another girl that I have issues with, that is close to my ex, is also going to be there. I had an encounter with her at Rainbow Serpent. I was really high on GHB and just stood in front of her at her camp site with a few other people and just yelled “HEY!!! How you going?” It was kinda funny cos again I got that weird look. After that though she did unblock me from Facebook so it will be interesting to see if either of them will try to talk to me.
Thirdly the guy that is turning 30 is in a polyamorous relationship. I heard stories about one of their parties that had a ‘fun’ room where people got down and dirty. A fair few of people from DMF are either in open relationship, polyamorous or split. So maybe at some point I could end up having some intimate one on one time.
So what will the night bring???…
A lot of laughs, getting shit faced and the possibility of fun time… we will just have to wait and see xo